Joey Unleashed

First, I want to say how proud I am to have a Portie as First Dog. Although we've been around for nearly 1,000 years, we've only recently been recognized by the American Kennel Club. So Bo moving into the White House is quite an accomplishment for all of us Porties.

Secondly, I want to set the record straight. While Bo and the Kennedy Porties are bluebloods, most of us are red-blooded working dogs. Throughout the centuries, we've had to earn our keep -- as herders, hunters, fishing dogs, retrievers, messengers, babysitters and protectors of the realm. No handouts for us. We work hard for our room and board.

My advice to Bo?

• Don't let the stardom go to your head. Be yourself.
• Avoid flyby photo flops.
• Don't chew on your mom's $540 Lanvin sneakers. They may be "just shoes," but they could pay to keep a family of four well fed for a month.
• Get in tight with those two cute people pups. That way when your family moves out of the White House, you won't end up like Socks Clinton. It had to find another home and another family when it was no longer needed as a presidential accessory.
• Don't dig too deeply in the White House lawn. You never know what bones are buried there.
• Remember that being First Dog doesn't mean you're Top Dog. Or that you're right.
• But most importantly, be there for your family. There are going to be times when they will really need you.