I was born and raised, for the most part, in central Illinois in a family still closely tied to its Southern roots. Drummed into us from birth was the Southern code of honor, which was bound to God, family and community -- in that order. An integral part of that honor was manners.
By manners, I don't mean merely knowing which fork to use first at a formal dinner or refraining from burping in public. For my parents and grandparents, manners were a daily extension of the Golden Rule: You respect others if you want them to respect you. Manners were the rules of society that helped us disagree without being disagreeable, as my father, the "country parson," is fond of saying. By exercising manners, we learned accountability -- to ourselves and to others.
Somewhere along the line, we have forgotten our manners. Young people refuse to offer their seats to the elderly. Children tear through stores, knocking into people with no apology -- and no parent scolding them. Students swear at their teachers. Service workers have no clue what "service" means.
What is even sadder is the demise of public discourse. Gone are the great orators who honored their word. Today's public forum is filled, instead, with noisy political hackers who joke about the statutory rape of Gov. Palin's daughter. Or who think it's OK to call Michelle Obama's ancestors gorillas -- so long as it's done in jest. Such lack of self-restraint demeans the person who says such things as well as the community that encourages it.
Today when there are so many serious problems facing our nation, we need people who can intelligently address the issues -- courteously, respectfully and maturely. And, given that Republicans are the minority party, we're going to have to work twice as hard to demonstrate that we have the ideas, and the temperament, necessary to lead our country away from the edge of the abyss.
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One faithful reader e-mailed the following comment:
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more on this topic (or really, these topics, as your entry spanned a couple). I do so see manners as the Golden Rule, and also a way to honor others. That is very old-fashioned, apparently.
And the new-fashioned mannerless society reaches into the theatres, as well. Here, read this, recently in the WSJ:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124424873407590721.html
About public discourse, I so often get ranting emails intended to be forwarded on, warning of some new, dreadful thing that will happen because of the evil Obama administration's policy on x, y, or z, all full of invective and name-calling. I would never forward such an email to anyone save maybe someone already of that view. It is obvious to me (anyone else?) that such an approach could never be convincing to "the other side." Sometimes I edit out all the invective and leave it bare-bones. Then, I might be bold enough to send on the information (just the fact, ma'am) to, say, my liberal family members (that would be all of them), in the hope of having them see something.
Let us keep fighting for the genteel, old-fashioned approach.