Have you seen the new Snuggie for dogs? Arf! That is one fashion statement I will not be making on the campaign trail -- even if it were available in red.
It's bad enough that our Snuggie government is trying to sell us its imported, one-size-fits-all, 100 percent totally adulterated synthetic approach to education, health care and environmental policy.
The price? Don't worry about it. The government has an easy-to-pay installment plan that you can pass on to your children and your children's children. And if you act now, you'll also get a deflated dollar and higher taxes. Of course, they won't be called taxes. That would be breaking a promise.
The fine print? Congress isn't reading it, so why should you?
So, no worries. Just sit back and let your Snuggie government trap you -- er, wrap you -- in its voluminous fleece.
I'm Joey. I'm running for Congress. And I approved this sarcasm.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Joey’s Take: Sticking Up for the Middle Class
UPDATE: Fisker, the company that got more than half a billion dollars to build luxury hybrid cars thanks to Al Gore's backing, has decided to make the cars at a shuttered GM plant in Delaware, Vice President Biden's state. (This company must have a thing for vice presidents.) The plan now is to produce 75,000-100,000 cars a year, beginning in 2012, that will sell for about $40,000 after federal tax credits. More than half the cars are expected to be sold in Europe. The company is letting the union tell it who it can hire at the plant, according to an AP story.
Bo Obama left his mark on Air Force One last week. I hear he created quite a stink.
If I’m elected to Congress, I pledge to leave my mark in the Capitol on behalf of the middle class. And I’m ready to clean up the stink that’s piling up in Congress.
It’s time somebody stood up for the middle class, which seems to be the bankroll our government is counting on to fund everything from healthcare to the escalating interest on our ballooning national debt. It is the middle class that gets hit by every new tax – gas taxes, income taxes, property taxes, service taxes, FICA, inheritance taxes, capital gains taxes. You name it – if it’s a tax, it’s going to slap the middle class. Why? Because the wealthiest (I’m talking million- and billionaires) have the loopholes, and the poor are always on the receiving end.
What our elected officials don’t understand is that the middle class is comprised of the movers and shakers of our communities. We are the security experts, the policemen, the firefighters, the accountants, the teachers, the small business owners, the workers who keep our country functioning.
We are the ones who will invest in green technology, who will pay to make our houses energy efficient, who will buy gas-sipping cars, who will invest in education, who will seek out American-made products, who will invent better widgets, who will support dog rescue programs and other charities. In other words, we are the backbone of the nation’s economy. That is, if the government allows us to keep the money we earn. (Yes, I may be a dog, but I am every inch a middle-class dog.)
Unfortunately, our “leaders” think they know best when it comes to spending our money. Like “loaning” more than half a billion middle-class tax dollars to a tiny car company Al Gore has invested in. According to the Wall Street Journal, this company will use the money to manufacture hydrogen-fueled cars in FINLAND that will sell for about $90,000 each.
And while our leaders were being generous with our money, they “loaned” nearly $470 million to another small automaker to make electric cars in the UK that will sell for $109,000 each.
So what will the middle class get for our money? Jobs for workers in other countries. And cars that we can’t afford. Since only a relatively few cars will be sold at those prices, we will see no impact on climate change, and the companies will probably never be profitable enough to pay us back.
If you ask me, these deals stink far worse than the little pile Bo left on Air Force One.
I’m Joey. I want to clean up Congress. And I approved this message.
Bo Obama left his mark on Air Force One last week. I hear he created quite a stink.
If I’m elected to Congress, I pledge to leave my mark in the Capitol on behalf of the middle class. And I’m ready to clean up the stink that’s piling up in Congress.
It’s time somebody stood up for the middle class, which seems to be the bankroll our government is counting on to fund everything from healthcare to the escalating interest on our ballooning national debt. It is the middle class that gets hit by every new tax – gas taxes, income taxes, property taxes, service taxes, FICA, inheritance taxes, capital gains taxes. You name it – if it’s a tax, it’s going to slap the middle class. Why? Because the wealthiest (I’m talking million- and billionaires) have the loopholes, and the poor are always on the receiving end.
What our elected officials don’t understand is that the middle class is comprised of the movers and shakers of our communities. We are the security experts, the policemen, the firefighters, the accountants, the teachers, the small business owners, the workers who keep our country functioning.
We are the ones who will invest in green technology, who will pay to make our houses energy efficient, who will buy gas-sipping cars, who will invest in education, who will seek out American-made products, who will invent better widgets, who will support dog rescue programs and other charities. In other words, we are the backbone of the nation’s economy. That is, if the government allows us to keep the money we earn. (Yes, I may be a dog, but I am every inch a middle-class dog.)
Unfortunately, our “leaders” think they know best when it comes to spending our money. Like “loaning” more than half a billion middle-class tax dollars to a tiny car company Al Gore has invested in. According to the Wall Street Journal, this company will use the money to manufacture hydrogen-fueled cars in FINLAND that will sell for about $90,000 each.
And while our leaders were being generous with our money, they “loaned” nearly $470 million to another small automaker to make electric cars in the UK that will sell for $109,000 each.
So what will the middle class get for our money? Jobs for workers in other countries. And cars that we can’t afford. Since only a relatively few cars will be sold at those prices, we will see no impact on climate change, and the companies will probably never be profitable enough to pay us back.
If you ask me, these deals stink far worse than the little pile Bo left on Air Force One.
I’m Joey. I want to clean up Congress. And I approved this message.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Joey’s Take: Turn the Water On
For centuries, my ancestors earned their livelihood on the fishing boats of Portugal. So I know the value and economic importance of fishing. I also know the value of water. So when I take my seat in Congress, I will introduce legislation to ensure that the government never again engages in the desertification of once-productive U.S. farmland.
Although we scream about practices that have led to desertification in Africa, our government is intentionally promoting the desertification of the fields and orchards of much of California by locking up the water for the survival of the tiny Delta smelt. The only value of the Delta smelt is as food for bigger fish. But the value of the land we’re turning into a desert can be measured in jobs, families, communities – and enough food to feed nations.
The culprit of this environmental catastrophe is the Endangered Species Act. Like many other well-intentioned government interventions, this act provides a one-size-fits-all solution to environmental issues that ignores all other concerns. I’m all for keeping the doghouse clean, but we can’t live – or govern – in a vacuum. Life is about balance.
It’s time to bring balance back to our government policies. And it’s time to turn the water back on in California.
Yes, I’m a water dog, and I approved this message. Vote Joey for Congress.
Although we scream about practices that have led to desertification in Africa, our government is intentionally promoting the desertification of the fields and orchards of much of California by locking up the water for the survival of the tiny Delta smelt. The only value of the Delta smelt is as food for bigger fish. But the value of the land we’re turning into a desert can be measured in jobs, families, communities – and enough food to feed nations.
The culprit of this environmental catastrophe is the Endangered Species Act. Like many other well-intentioned government interventions, this act provides a one-size-fits-all solution to environmental issues that ignores all other concerns. I’m all for keeping the doghouse clean, but we can’t live – or govern – in a vacuum. Life is about balance.
It’s time to bring balance back to our government policies. And it’s time to turn the water back on in California.
Yes, I’m a water dog, and I approved this message. Vote Joey for Congress.
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