Have you seen the new Snuggie for dogs? Arf! That is one fashion statement I will not be making on the campaign trail -- even if it were available in red.
It's bad enough that our Snuggie government is trying to sell us its imported, one-size-fits-all, 100 percent totally adulterated synthetic approach to education, health care and environmental policy.
The price? Don't worry about it. The government has an easy-to-pay installment plan that you can pass on to your children and your children's children. And if you act now, you'll also get a deflated dollar and higher taxes. Of course, they won't be called taxes. That would be breaking a promise.
The fine print? Congress isn't reading it, so why should you?
So, no worries. Just sit back and let your Snuggie government trap you -- er, wrap you -- in its voluminous fleece.
I'm Joey. I'm running for Congress. And I approved this sarcasm.
Showing posts with label taxes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taxes. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Week of Enlightenment
This has been a week of enlightenment.
First, I was reminded of how much of my hard-earned money Uncle Sam lays claim to.
Then, I was informed that my father, one of my brothers and many of my uncles and cousins were potential terrorist threats because they were veterans. Oh, and Homeland Security will consider my son a threat when his military stent ends in a few years. Silly me, I was proud of him and considered him patriotic. For that matter, Capt. Phillips, who was freed this week from Somali pirates by Navy SEALS, was misguided enough to consider the military superheroes.
But Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security secretary, defended an "intelligence report" that classified veterans -- and people opposed to abortion -- as potential terrorists. When asked to retract that part of the report, Napolitano said, "It was an assessment, not an accusation." (In other words, she saw it as unarguable fact.) And in her "apology" a few days later, she apologized that veterans groups took offense at the assessment -- she did not apologize for the "assessment" itself. Perhaps President Obama should apologize for making her secretary of Homeland Defense and ask her to step down.
On a brighter note, I was reminded this week that dreams don't die with youth. Susan Boyle, who became an international superstar at 47, proved that in a matter of a few notes on "Britain's Got Talent." Much of her appeal is the realization she brought that regardless of our age, our looks, our financial or social status, we can live our dreams if we have confidence in our abilities, if we remain true to ourselves and if we are willing to face some disbelief and rejection.
So if you have some dreams that are simmering on the back burner, maybe it's time to bring them to a Boyle.
First, I was reminded of how much of my hard-earned money Uncle Sam lays claim to.
Then, I was informed that my father, one of my brothers and many of my uncles and cousins were potential terrorist threats because they were veterans. Oh, and Homeland Security will consider my son a threat when his military stent ends in a few years. Silly me, I was proud of him and considered him patriotic. For that matter, Capt. Phillips, who was freed this week from Somali pirates by Navy SEALS, was misguided enough to consider the military superheroes.
But Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security secretary, defended an "intelligence report" that classified veterans -- and people opposed to abortion -- as potential terrorists. When asked to retract that part of the report, Napolitano said, "It was an assessment, not an accusation." (In other words, she saw it as unarguable fact.) And in her "apology" a few days later, she apologized that veterans groups took offense at the assessment -- she did not apologize for the "assessment" itself. Perhaps President Obama should apologize for making her secretary of Homeland Defense and ask her to step down.
On a brighter note, I was reminded this week that dreams don't die with youth. Susan Boyle, who became an international superstar at 47, proved that in a matter of a few notes on "Britain's Got Talent." Much of her appeal is the realization she brought that regardless of our age, our looks, our financial or social status, we can live our dreams if we have confidence in our abilities, if we remain true to ourselves and if we are willing to face some disbelief and rejection.
So if you have some dreams that are simmering on the back burner, maybe it's time to bring them to a Boyle.
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