Giving Thanks

As we celebrated Thanksgiving in years past, our thoughts generally turned to family, to tables laden with food, to the daily bounty we too often took for granted.

This year as we prepare to give thanks with family and friends, many of us are thinking about loved ones who can’t be with us, tables less bountiful, a future where nothing (but taxes) can be taken for granted.

When the pilgrims gathered with their neighbors for that first Thanksgiving in a rough clearing in the wilderness, their thoughts focused not on bounty but on adversity overcome.

As they shared the fruit of their first harvest with the Native Americans who had made it possible, their thankfulness was intensified by the hard times they had endured.

Never again would they ignore a child’s laugh. Too many of their children lay silent in the alien soil.

Never again would they waste precious resources. They knew too well what it was to go without.

Never again would they take friendship lightly. They understood that they owed their survival and their future to the kindness of strangers.

Perhaps the true meaning of Thanksgiving is found in recognizing our blessings in the face of hardship.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Joey’s Take: Time for Transparency

A lot of the barking in the Beltway dog park these days is about transparency. While the White House does a lot of tail wagging about it, Congress basically acts as the playground police to make sure everyone else follows the rules. But Congress itself is, by law, immune from those transparency rules that apply to the executive branch, federal agencies, the military, law enforcement, and state and local governments. (Keep in mind who makes the laws.)

That’s why former Congressman-turned-inmate William Jefferson was able to keep the FBI out of his congressional office – even though he had been caught with $90,000 in cold, hard cash (kickbacks) stashed between pie crusts in his home freezer. It’s also how several congressmen were able to keep it quiet – until a brief, unintentional leak – that their principal place of residence was no longer the district they represented but Maryland. (It saved them a few thousand dollars in property taxes.)

In exempting themselves from the Freedom of Information Act, Congress expects us to believe that it is inherently trustworthy, that we don’t need to know what deals went into crafting the laws the rest of us have to live by, and that its political shenanigans are none of our business. Besides, transparency is unnecessary, many congress(wo)men insist. What’s important is that they can still look themselves in the mirror. Arf!

As a member of Congress, my plan is to become the congressional watchdog. I will insist that Congress be subject to every law it imposes on others and that it conducts its business in the glare of the public spotlight. And I won’t waste time admiring my reflection in the mirror.

I’m Joey. I’m running for Congress. And I approved this message.

Joey's Take: Tail Wagging

One of the campaign tasks I find most challenging is figuring out which of the zillions of issues out there to bark about. I blame this on technology. The 24-7 news frenzy has to have something to barf up; that means a lot of comments and events get exaggerated, twisted and sensationalized. Talk about the tail wagging the dog!

It’s not all the media’s fault. The anonymity and ubiquity of the internet also are to blame. (Yes, I know some of these are big words for a dog, but because of my species, I have to work twice as hard to get people to take my campaign seriously.)

Have you read the hatred spewing out on some of these online comment boards? I can tell you, the worst of it is not from conservatives. The most offensive name-calling, vitriolic rhetoric is coming from so-called “tolerant” liberals. When I read this stuff, I wonder if we can ever be one nation under God.

Of course, it’s one thing for people to verbally bite each other on an anonymous forum in the name of public discourse. But, as a candidate for Congress, I draw the line at our representatives and senators standing up on the floor of their chamber and reading lies and gutter talk into the Congressional Record. Are the words of Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) really the legacy we want to leave as the archives of our time?

Arf! Here’s where the media come back in. Grayson has learned that as a freshman rep without rock-star status, he gets no attention when he’s just doing his job. Nope, the only time he gets his 15 minutes of fame is to engage in Hugo Chavez-inspired speeches. If the media would stop rewarding him with mic time, he’d focus on his job instead of his sound bites (pun intended).

I can assure you that if I’m elected to Congress, I won’t have to pull a Grayson to get my 15 minutes.

I’m Joey. I’m a rock-star dog. And I approved this blog – even though it doesn't carry the White House seal of approval.

Joey's Take: A Snuggie Government

Have you seen the new Snuggie for dogs? Arf! That is one fashion statement I will not be making on the campaign trail -- even if it were available in red.

It's bad enough that our Snuggie government is trying to sell us its imported, one-size-fits-all, 100 percent totally adulterated synthetic approach to education, health care and environmental policy.

The price? Don't worry about it. The government has an easy-to-pay installment plan that you can pass on to your children and your children's children. And if you act now, you'll also get a deflated dollar and higher taxes. Of course, they won't be called taxes. That would be breaking a promise.

The fine print? Congress isn't reading it, so why should you?

So, no worries. Just sit back and let your Snuggie government trap you -- er, wrap you -- in its voluminous fleece.

I'm Joey. I'm running for Congress. And I approved this sarcasm.

Joey’s Take: Sticking Up for the Middle Class

UPDATE: Fisker, the company that got more than half a billion dollars to build luxury hybrid cars thanks to Al Gore's backing, has decided to make the cars at a shuttered GM plant in Delaware, Vice President Biden's state. (This company must have a thing for vice presidents.) The plan now is to produce 75,000-100,000 cars a year, beginning in 2012, that will sell for about $40,000 after federal tax credits. More than half the cars are expected to be sold in Europe. The company is letting the union tell it who it can hire at the plant, according to an AP story.

Bo Obama left his mark on Air Force One last week. I hear he created quite a stink.

If I’m elected to Congress, I pledge to leave my mark in the Capitol on behalf of the middle class. And I’m ready to clean up the stink that’s piling up in Congress.

It’s time somebody stood up for the middle class, which seems to be the bankroll our government is counting on to fund everything from healthcare to the escalating interest on our ballooning national debt. It is the middle class that gets hit by every new tax – gas taxes, income taxes, property taxes, service taxes, FICA, inheritance taxes, capital gains taxes. You name it – if it’s a tax, it’s going to slap the middle class. Why? Because the wealthiest (I’m talking million- and billionaires) have the loopholes, and the poor are always on the receiving end.

What our elected officials don’t understand is that the middle class is comprised of the movers and shakers of our communities. We are the security experts, the policemen, the firefighters, the accountants, the teachers, the small business owners, the workers who keep our country functioning.

We are the ones who will invest in green technology, who will pay to make our houses energy efficient, who will buy gas-sipping cars, who will invest in education, who will seek out American-made products, who will invent better widgets, who will support dog rescue programs and other charities. In other words, we are the backbone of the nation’s economy. That is, if the government allows us to keep the money we earn. (Yes, I may be a dog, but I am every inch a middle-class dog.)

Unfortunately, our “leaders” think they know best when it comes to spending our money. Like “loaning” more than half a billion middle-class tax dollars to a tiny car company Al Gore has invested in. According to the Wall Street Journal, this company will use the money to manufacture hydrogen-fueled cars in FINLAND that will sell for about $90,000 each.

And while our leaders were being generous with our money, they “loaned” nearly $470 million to another small automaker to make electric cars in the UK that will sell for $109,000 each.

So what will the middle class get for our money? Jobs for workers in other countries. And cars that we can’t afford. Since only a relatively few cars will be sold at those prices, we will see no impact on climate change, and the companies will probably never be profitable enough to pay us back.

If you ask me, these deals stink far worse than the little pile Bo left on Air Force One.

I’m Joey. I want to clean up Congress. And I approved this message.

Joey’s Take: Turn the Water On

For centuries, my ancestors earned their livelihood on the fishing boats of Portugal. So I know the value and economic importance of fishing. I also know the value of water. So when I take my seat in Congress, I will introduce legislation to ensure that the government never again engages in the desertification of once-productive U.S. farmland.

Although we scream about practices that have led to desertification in Africa, our government is intentionally promoting the desertification of the fields and orchards of much of California by locking up the water for the survival of the tiny Delta smelt. The only value of the Delta smelt is as food for bigger fish. But the value of the land we’re turning into a desert can be measured in jobs, families, communities – and enough food to feed nations.

The culprit of this environmental catastrophe is the Endangered Species Act. Like many other well-intentioned government interventions, this act provides a one-size-fits-all solution to environmental issues that ignores all other concerns. I’m all for keeping the doghouse clean, but we can’t live – or govern – in a vacuum. Life is about balance.

It’s time to bring balance back to our government policies. And it’s time to turn the water back on in California.

Yes, I’m a water dog, and I approved this message. Vote Joey for Congress.

Joey’s Take: The Dog Park

We’ve got a lot of problems facing our country right now. One of the biggest is the insane partisanship that’s ripping us apart. My years of experience as playground police at the dog park make me uniquely qualified to handle this situation. If the bullies in Congress – regardless of their party affiliation – get out of hand, I’ll be right there nipping at their heels until they get back to business in a civil manner. If that doesn’t work, I’m great at body slamming the pit bulls and rolling the little yelpers.

Speaking of the dog park. … I’ve noticed that what works in the neighborhood dog park doesn’t play so well on the Capitol Mall. Can you imagine 100 dogs, of every size and breed imaginable, running unleashed and out of control on the Mall? (OK, we’ve got that pretty much in the Senate!) Seriously, that many dogs chasing sticks, Frisbees, tennis balls and each other outside the confines of a dog park would create traffic jams, lead to some dog-bites-man non-news for the 24-7 news frenzy and result in a few dead Snoopys and Rovers. What works on a small scale usually doesn’t work on a national scale – whether you’re talking unleashed animals, health care or education.

The reason is accountability. In most neighborhood dog parks, the dogs get to know each other, and they’re accompanied by people who get to know each other. The end result is the people and the dogs begin to look out for each other. That doesn’t happen on a national scale populated by faceless masses and manipulated statistics.

Hillary (Clinton, that is) got it half right when she said it takes a village to raise a child. But when she “introduced” that African concept to the U.S., she mistranslated the word village. In most African countries, a village is simply a cluster of people united by kinship – and, thus, accountability and responsibility. In other words, it takes a FAMILY to raise a child, or care for their elderly, or tend to the sick within their midst, or look after the destitute among them. But in Hillary’s mind, village is translated as government, removing the need for personal accountability and responsibility.

As your representative in Congress, I’ll demand civility and do everything I can to remove the government from the village.

I’m Joey. I’m running for Congress. And I approved this message.