Joey's Take: On the Campaign Trail

The most common reaction I get when people find out I'm running for Congress is: "But you're a dog."

My response: "And your point is?"

"You can't read. How could you intelligently vote on legislation you haven't read?" they ask.

I inform my critics that, first of all, "intelligence" and "Congress" have nothing to do with each other and, secondly, far too many representatives and senators vote for legislation they haven't read. For that matter, the president doesn't read most of the bills he signs.

I also play to my biggest strength in reminding the naysayers that America voted for change in 2008 -- and it's still looking for it. The election of a dog to Congress would really shake up Washington. Think about it. Lobbyists would be at a loss of how to deal with me. They couldn't wine and dine me or treat me to fancy vacations at exotic golf courses. (You wouldn't want to see me loose on a green.)

I definitely wouldn't be one of the Beltway Boys. If my colleagues -- or the president, for that matter -- tried any paw-twisting with me, I'd probably bite them. I can see the headlines now: "Congressional Dog Bites Pelosi!"

Another benefit to electing me to Congress is that there wouldn't even be a scent of scandal. I don't drink, smoke, gamble, shoplift, own stock, or chase men or women -- at least not in a sexual way. I'm also already House-broken.

Yes, I'm Joey. I'm a dog. And I'm running for Congress. Vote for me if you want real change in Washington.